Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
