The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
