Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
