I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
