He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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