Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Come on in and take your pants off
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