It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
