Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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