if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
