R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
