Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
