you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
