Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
