i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
