So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I would ride that face into the sunset
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
i out mim tonsoeep
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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