Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
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