i just sent this text using only my big toe
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
