You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I wish i was in the wii world.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
