You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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