i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
