I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
