There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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