8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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