Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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