My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
