it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
