So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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