Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
