i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
