Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
