Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
