Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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