On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
