at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
