Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We left the knife in your bed.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize