After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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