we're chasing vodka with high fives
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
