eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
