im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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