Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
