I bet he comes in French.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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