In the future we'll all be gay
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
