I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
