Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He did a backflip because drugs
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
