I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
