You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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