Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
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