walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
