The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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