Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
