Tell her she can't have a vagina
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Boobs are out for the taking
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
