I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
