So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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