Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
