just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
