so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
