kristin has been a bad kristin
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
