Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Randomize
