You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
