Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
