ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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